An Open Letter To Jane Lynch
by Amy Lindorff
You were great in Best in Show and I loved your Weeds cameo. You really opened my eyes to my own skinnyfat. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stomach Glee. I tried, I really did. I watched the pilot and thought it didn’t suck. Once season one got going I watched the first half or so and then gave up. I was fast-forwarding through all the songs because I found them hard to listen to. It’s not the cast’s fault either – I was raised by a man who had incredibly high standards for music and as a result, there are a lot of things I cannot enjoy. Then I started skipping all the scenes that had Matthew Morrison’s wife in them because I couldn’t stand hearing her speak. Then (and this broke my heart) I started skipping your scenes. It was too much Sue. You drove me crazy. I’m still not sure why. At that point, I was really only watching about 15 minutes of each episode and decided to just call it quits. I had Biggest Loser to watch anyway and was still sort of trying at the whole ‘be a student/go to class/do all the readings’ thing, so that was that for me and Glee. I hope you can forgive me.
But what I really wanted to tell you was thanks for giving me your parking spot in front of King’s Road the other day. I especially loved that you didn’t leave me any money in the meter. You’d think you could drop a few Glee quarters in there to help a lady out. Maybe next time.
P.P.S. Quit following my uncle Jerry around to all the coffee shops in town. I know you just wish you were as young and hip as he is, but it’s beginning to creep him out.