An Open Letter To The Insider

by Amy Lindorff

Dear The Insider,

Last night you featured a Top Ten Countdown of Cameron Diaz’s best red carpet looks. You got to number two and, I thought, said that you would be back with number one later in the show. So I kept watching, even though dinner was over and the ice cream was gone and Jerry and the dogs had left the room and I was starting to question my life choices. I hadn’t agreed with you on any of the choices (because every single dress was hideous in a new and fascinating way) and simply wanted to see what you were going to top this mess off with. So I waited.

Then the show was over and the little girl co-host finally stopped making ridiculous faces and Cameron’s top look had still not been revealed. I’m not sure if you were lying or you are going to be featuring this look on tonight’s show, but I am very upset with you and will NOT be watching.

Thanks for nothing.

Love, Amy