Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Month: August, 2011

An Open Letter To Oregon

Dear Oregon,

Later today Dusty, Jerry, and I are putting all the dogs and ourselves in the Audi and driving up to see you. Specifically the Tillamook parts of you. Get ready.

I hope you still look like this.

Love, Amy

P.S. Please don’t be as hot as it is here, but don’t rain either. Thanks.


An Open Letter To Mandy Moore

Dear Mandy,

Looks like maybe you should have quit after Saved when you were at least sort of ahead. Sorry about this. I really did love Saved. It might even be in my top ten favorite movies. And I was VERY jealous of you when you were dating Andy Roddick. Hope you’re doing well.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Bridger Winegar

Dear Bridger,

Thanks for meeting me for dinner at Plancha tonight. Double bonus thanks for driving me home. It’s a long block and a half walk riddled with creepy old men in the alley. It was so great to chat about how splendidly everything is going for both of us! Glad we’ve both reached a place in our lives where we have no complaints or difficulties. Let’s do it again soon, but instead of Plancha let’s have sandwiches.

Love, Amy

P.S. Kissing contest on Bachelor Pad tonight!! You better watch because I want to text the whole time!! Mike and Holly!! omg lol l8r

An Open Letter To Adam Scott

Dear Adam,

You are now my favorite actor. I’m not exactly sure who it was before, but you are it now. I was on the fence about you when you first came onto the Parks and Recreation scene, but over the last few months you have convinced me that you are the best ever. First, you got better and better on Parks, with you and Amy Poehler being probably the cutest couple currently on television. On at least one occasion I was crying for almost an hour and then I watched Little Sebastian. The way you say “horse funeral” can never not make me laugh. Then Bridger told me about Party Down. I have a fair amount of issues with Jane Lynch, but you and Janis Ian from Mean Girls were just wonderful and that show in general was such a fun surprise. I saw The Aviator before I knew who you were, but loved you in it nonetheless. I haven’t seen Step Brothers which will upset, but not surprise, at least one person who doesn’t believe I’ve ever watched a movie in my life, but I heard good things about you in that too. You were also apparently on Boy Meets World which I LOVED.

Most recently, I have gone to see Our Idiot Brother two times now. Paul Rudd was great, but you were greater. That movie is what did it for me. From now on, you are my favorite. Parks an Rec cannot start soon enough.

Love, Amy

P.S. I may have seen Our Idiot Brother twice, but managed to not have to pay for it either time so technically I am not helping you out any at the box office this weekend. Which you guys clearly need. I’m really sorry. It’s an awesome movie.

An Open Letter To Viktor’s Leather Jacket From Project Runway

Dear Viktor’s Leather Jacket,

I have been looking for the perfect leather jacket for over three years, though the last year or so things have really gotten serious. Banana Republic almost made my dreams come true, but it wasn’t quite perfect. Now there is you. You are it. The search is over.

Viktor made you so well and you are the best thing anyone has made this season. I don’t even care that technically you are part of Heidi’s line for New Balance, my least favorite brand of athletic shoes. There is no big stupid N anywhere on you and you are gorgeous and I will wear you everywhere and never take you off. Get in my closet right this second. We will have so much fun together, I promise.

Love, Amy

P.S. I checked all over Amazon and even though Heidi said you would be there, I cannot find you. Somebody tell me when you are available. I want you day before yesterday.

P.P.S. FOUND YOU. First person to buy you for me wins a prize.