Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Month: October, 2011

An Open Letter To The Indianapolis Colts

Dear Indianapolis Colts,


Last time I was seriously paying attention to pro-football, was in 2007. You guys had just won a Superbowl the year before and were still doing pretty well. Now it is week 8 of the season and you haven’t won ANY GAMES? What happened to you? I guess Peyton Manning can’t play, which probably doesn’t help things, but wow. I never would have guessed this. This might be the most surprised I’ve been in years.

I hope you win at least one game this year.

Love, Amy


An Open Letter To Michael Kors

Dear Michael Kors,

I’m sure you didn’t mean this, and there are plenty of differences between the two, but this dress (left) from your Spring 2012 collection reminded me an AWFUL LOT of Josh M.’s dress (right) from the Project Runway finale:




Just saying.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To SyFy Network

Dear SyFy Network,

Just realized today that I never formally thanked you for airing Battlestar Galactica. So thank you. If it wasn’t for you, this screenshot of Jamie Bamber, as Lee Adama, wouldn’t exist. And if this screenshot didn’t exist there might not be any joy in the world.


Love, Amy

An Open Letter To George Clooney

Dear George Mr. Clooney (see, I was listening during the Q and A!),

I’m on to you. Jerry and I figured it out. Here is how he and I spent last night:

I was excited to see it. I love this kind of movie and love them even more when they include Ryan Gosling in nice suits. But this movie wasn’t really about politics or loyalty, was it? It was about directing a movie that featured both you and dear, sweet Ryan so that you could make yourself look more handsome than him. You’re worried, right? Jerry said, and I agree, that you are the last real movie star. But I’m thinking this Ryan kid scares you a bit. And rightfully so. He is more handsome than you maybe ever were. Even the back of his head and his adorable little ears are handsome! In Ides of March, you shot him in ways that made him look slightly less handsome – a 9 instead of a 10. AND you covered up half of his face with your own on the posters. Very sneaky.

But joke’s on you. No matter how long your legs looked sitting in that chair during the Q and A, and no matter how sweet that leather jacket was that you were wearing, Ryan Gosling as handsome as ever, and taller than you. It’s okay! Everyone still loves you. Even though it is CLEAR that you know you are George Clooney. Let the boy have his fun.

Even if Gosling wasn’t quite his Crazy Stupid Love handsomeness, he was still Ryan Gosling, so that was nice. And the movie was enjoyable on the whole. I loved that not only was it a free screening and we got to hear from you and Grant Heslov afterward, but there were Robek’s Juice samples while we waited in line! You should definitely try the Hummingbird, it’s quite good.

Love, Amy

P.S. How crazy was that red headed girl who asked the question about cigarettes and product placement and then wouldn’t put her hand down for the next half hour??

P.P.S My cousin Dusty says hi. He used to work at Smokehouse. Remember that time you tripped and fell coming in the door? Dusty was the other guy in the office who saw.

An Open Letter To Planet Blue

Dear Planet Blue,

I love the idea of you and was very interested in well over half of the clothes you had in stock in Malibu last weekend. But why so expensive? I can easily get everything you were selling for half the price somewhere else, and I wouldn’t have to drive out to Malibu. Are you charging extra because you are owned by Olivia Newton John? I can’t imagine she’s hurting for cash. I did appreciate the placement of the rocks that said “honesty” and “boyfriend,” but the fact that you were selling rocks at all was worrisome. Those rocks with words etched into them are stupid. I’m saying it.

This little number would probably set you back $200 at Planet Blue and Olivia doesn't even seem to care.

In any case, I didn’t buy anything and was glad I didn’t because after I left you, I went to James Perse. I need absolutely everything they sell and will pay whatever I have to. THOSE are clothes.

Feel free to let me know if you are having a sale or decided to lower your regular prices.

Love, Amy