An Open Letter To Harold Wheeler
by Amy Lindorff
Dear Harold Wheeler,
Do you need another clarinetist for the Dancing With the Stars orchestra? Because if you need me, I will have my mom ship both of mine to me (I have two, a plastic one for marching band and a wooden one for symphonic band because I was that hardcore) and really quick teach myself how to play it again. I’m sure it will come right back even though I technically haven’t played it since early 2006. And really you could say since early 2005, which is when I really checked out of high school band. Had I known that I could have possibly played for you and been on the same stage as Tristan MacManus two nights a week, I definitely would have stuck with it. That guy gets more handsome by the week! Let me know when you’d like me to have those clarinets sent down. I might need a bit of extra advance notice to make sure that they are playable – I know for a fact that one of them still has a used reed on the mouthpiece. I’m willing to bet there’s a fair amount of mold involved there, but I am happy to take care of it if it means being closer to marrying the handsome, handsome Tristan. Talk to you soon.