An Open Letter To Linda Wolf

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Ms. Wolf,

I bet you don’t remember me. I took your Advanced Biology class and Glencoe High School during the 2005-2006 school year. We went birding (I distinctly remember you yelling “Look! A snowy egret!!” from the bus). We raised chickens. We schlepped in the wetlands out behind the track. We went to the SWRP Summit at the University of Portland and made eloquent, engaging, scientifically accurate presentations ate cookies behind the poster hoping the judges wouldn’t see us while Brittany explained our research. It was loads of fun. It was also great that we had it first period, meaning that on those fateful pond schlepping days, we spent the rest of the day smelling like wetlands. Very sexy.

These are some badass birds.

Looking back now, it really was a fun class and we did a lot of interesting things that I exaggerated greatly on college applications and resumes. So thanks for that. You were definitely a little nuts at times, but I learned a lot. Now, my dear sweet baby sister is in your Honors Biology class and I certainly hope you are being nice to her. Walker is. Feel free to go ask him for tips if you need any. Maybe start by giving her an A on her essay, “Should We Save the Red Knot Bird?” which she was writing for you last night. Then perhaps you could assign more lab reports instead of essays, being that you are teaching Biology. I can honestly say that my science classes at Glencoe in no way prepared me to write actual lab reports in college. The only lab report writing skills I took with me to UO came from my seventh grade science teacher, Ms. Kottkey. Even Erin agrees with me and her degree was in engineering. You’ve got some work to do, lady.

Love, Amy

P.S. I was catching up on Hillsboro news the other day and found this. Seems like it would be right up your alley.