An Open Letter To Kim From RHOA
by Amy Lindorff
Dear Kim from The Real Housewives of Atlanta,
The other day Bravo had a marathon of season one and I watched a few episodes to see what all the fuss is about. It turned out they were the last two episodes of the season, followed by an “After the Final Rose” season recap type clip show. In this clip show, I learned to abhor you even more than I had during the regular episodes. The other ladies I could take or leave and was generally able to write off as your typical Real Housewife type characters, but you were something else. I don’t want to spend a lot of time dwelling on it because I would like to stop thinking about you ASAP, but I had to tell you at least this:
IMPLYING FOR A GOOD FIVE MINUTES THAT YOU HAD CANCER AND EVERYONE SHOULD FEEL SORRY FOR YOU AND NOT MAKE FUN OF YOUR WIG, WHEN YOU DID NOT ACTUALLY HAVE CANCER IS A SHITTY THING TO DO.
Relatedly, I believe that typically, hair falls out as a result of chemotherapy, which comes after the positive cancer diagnosis, so your “friend” who told you that he was 90% sure you had cancer because your hair was falling out is an idiot (unless of course there were other symptoms you didn’t mention on air) AND while any situation even almost involving cancer is difficult, please don’t sit there and tell me that even though you didn’t have cancer, sitting in that Chili’s waiting for the results was SOOO HARRRD. You didn’t have cancer! And now you have a television show about your life! Things are going your way!
Have fun tonight on the season 4 premiere. I’ll be watching Once Upon A Time instead.
P.S. I am actually really sorry that you had to eat at Chili’s. That’s rough under any circumstances.