An Open Letter To Modelland

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Modelland,

I am assuming you are a place. I don’t really know because I couldn’t even get through the excerpt that was available on the Barnes and Noble website. Why? Here is a list of reasons:

  • The characters’ names are ridiculous and I cannot focus on anything other than the mental image of Tyra drawing letters out of a hat and scrambling them into these names: “Tookie” “Myrracle” “Mrs. De La Crème” “Theophilus” “Zarpessa Zarionneaux” “Mayor Rump” and “Desperada”
  • The phrase “smile for the cams!” appears.
  • “Tookie dutifully climbed onto the shiny bumper.” This is how a fourth grader writes.

I know you only exist because Tyra wrote you, but it is still amazing to me that you were published at all. You just don’t make any sense to me.

Love, Amy