An Open Letter To The Lady Next To Me At Breaking Dawn

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Lady (not you, Rebecca, the lady on my right),

Friday night was my first Twilight related experience, outside of a failed attempt to get past the first three pages of the first book. So I really didn’t know what to expect. However, if pressed, I would not have expected that you would cry through the entire movie. And that those tears would turn into full on sobs during that scene with the wolves (oh, you know the one).

If you like Twilight, that’s fine. Wonderful even. Books are great and so are movies. I never got into this particular franchise, mostly because the writing was so incredibly terrible. But I am glad that you found some books you enjoy. Growing up I loooooved The Babysitter’s Club series and yes, I would occasionally cry when things weren’t going well in Kristy’s stepfamily or when Claudia and Stacy were fighting. You are allowed to cry, I am just very, VERY surprised at the amount of tears prompted by Taylor Lautner “imprinting” on a newborn baby, who happens to be the daughter of the girl he loves (I think). There seem to be a number of different layers of weirdness in that. And that isn’t even including the strange film making choices in that sequence. I didn’t study film at anywhere fancy (or study film at all) but I know enough to know that the whole ‘reflections of young Bella in Jacob’s eye while he stares at the newborn demon child’ montage is not going to win anyone any awards or critical acclaim.

It's like they have no idea that all those wolves are off somewhere making the worst scene ever in all of movies.

I hope at least some of your tears were tears of joy or that at least it was a nice release for you.

Love, Amy

P.S. I have no idea what the backstory was or why she had to storm out of the wedding reception, but now that I’ve had some time to think about it, Maggie Grace was definitely my favorite part of this movie. Loved the way her eyes didn’t move at all. Also kept waiting for Ian Somerhalder (he’s a vampire now too, right??) to come into frame and be all “come on Shannon, let’s go find some more sunscreen before Locke basically kills me.” Maybe Lost should do a movie?

P.P.S. If you are interested in having a reaction to wolves, maybe check out Chelsea Peretti? She has some nice wolf related humor in her Twitter feed every now and then. And it will make you laugh rather than cry! Doesn’t that sound like fun?