An Open Letter To Victoria Beckham

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Victoria Beckham,

Get. Over. Your. Self.

I know you are some sort of fashion icon/busy mother of adorable children/lover of David Beckham and I’m sure that takes a lot out of you. But like it or not, you were and always will be a Spice Girl. That means that you have an obligation to all the girls who were preteens in the 90s and want this Spice Girls reunion to happen. The Olympics are great on their own, but come on! A Spice Girls performance would make them all the more exciting. The beautiful, handsome, sexiness that is Ryan Lochte isn’t going to be swimming every day! We need some other excitement to really spice things up (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?). It’s okay if it’s only one song. That’s fine. But give us something. A little blast from the past. That’s all I (and many girls like me) want. David will likely be in London playing Olympic soccer anyway, right? You’ll be in town! It will be painless and fun and bring joy to tons of people.

Spice up our lives once more, please.

Love, Amy