An Open Letter To Billy Crystal

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Billy Crystal,

You hosted the 84th Academy Awards – I PA’ed them. We were clearly on opposite ends of that particular totem pole, but I had a great time nonetheless. I was kept quite busy, and I’m sure you were too, which is probably why we never ran into each other the entire time I was there. But what are the odds that I would see you in Larchmont days later?

They are likely very slim, but that’s what happened. If you remember me at all from yesterday evening it would be as the girl who was too focused on window-shopping the frozen yogurt place to realize it was you until the guy she was with pointed you out. It baffles me that even though we worked in the same building for a while, I had to go to Larchmont to see you in person, but I’m not convinced anything in life makes sense anyway.

I hope you had a nice night and didn’t eat as much pizza as I did. No one should eat that much pizza.

Love, Amy

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