An Open Letter To The Traffic Light At Beverly And Sweetzer

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Traffic Light at Beverly and Sweetzer,

Thanks for nothing today. The amount of time I have spent as a pedestrian waiting for you to turn green for me is likely more than the amount of time I’ve spent waiting for roommates to get out of the shower so that I can run in and grab the nail polish color I want.

Sunday mornings at 8 am there is little to no traffic in sight on Beverly Boulevard. So today I went for it. I generally live life on the edge anyway, and today was just one of those days. I crossed though the light was red.

Of course I managed to do this while wearing a bright yellow top (which I had convinced the gal at Old Navy she should give me for 50% off because I am an expert shopper) and while a cop was, you know, right there watching me. Turns out jaywalking is super illegal in Los Angeles, who knew! I spent the last four years in Eugene where, let’s be honest, pretty much anything goes (except alcohol on campus, protesting in downtown, and a handful of other things), including jaywalking.

Apparently jaywalking is “a good way to get hit by a car” though that cop probably shouldn’t have used that line of reasoning with me since he was the only car for five blocks in either direction. Would have been you that hit me, guy. Thanks are in order for him not giving me a ticket, but my feud with you continues. Next time you see me coming you better do what I say. You think you’re sooooo special because you’re the only light that crosses Beverly and isn’t completely out of the way on my ‘comfy bed to King’s Road’ route. In a fun bit of irony, I actually go to you so that I don’t have to jaywalk. So everyone just leave me alone and you, you fulfill my demands and change when I tell you to.

Love, Amy

Advertisements