An Open Letter To My Shower

by Amy Lindorff

Dear Shower,

As much as I hate to break it to you, lest I shatter your self-confidence, the only reason I am still using you every day is to procrastinate writing another 15-20 minutes. Somedays I go to work, but when I don’t, we both know that I’m here at home with you all day long. The only places I might go are King’s or Plancha and those people love me enough that they could care less if I have showered. So I’m not doing it for them.

I’m certainly not doing it for me – all I need is a quick face wash at your buddy the sink and I’m good to go. We both also know that I write almost exclusively from bed, and those blankets and pillows are the least judgmental friends I have. Not doing it for them either. You are just a way for me to feel like I’m not wasting time while I waste time.

Thank you for your services.

Love, Amy

P.S. Clean yourself, Mr. Lazy.