An Open Letter To Three People
by Amy Lindorff
Dear You Three,
I’m going to address you separately.
- The guy who honked at me for 7 seconds on Beverly: THANKS. I get it. You are a better person than I am. You did the right thing, I did the wrong thing. You are better than me and I should just feel terrible forever for messing up. But guess what? No one got hurt, no one even came close to getting hurt, your luxury sedan (which I guarantee you overpaid for) didn’t get a single scratch and my cool car (which you can find more info on if you go to Hertz.com and search for the absolute cheapest rental they offer) has the same amount of scratches it started the morning with and everyone is fine. It is Sunday morning and we are all just trying to get somewhere and everything is going to be okay. I understood your angry message within the first three seconds of your honk. The last four were just mean. Get over yourself and have a beautiful day.
- The two girls having brunch on 3rd and La Jolla: if I am in my bed eating the most delicious cookie of my entire lifeand drinking both a latte and a cup of coffee and I can hear you screaming with delight and gabbing about your boyfriends then YOU ARE TALKING TOO LOUDLY. I am not paying rent here so that I can overhear your convos. I am paying rent here so that I am close to Plancha. I don’t want to discourage your enthusiasm for life, but I also don’t care about your Coachella experiences.