Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: 2011 Emmys

An Open Letter To Kyle Chandler

Dear Kyle,

CONGRATULATIONS.

You are awesome and finally the Emmys made it official. I have previously documented my love for Friday Night Lights and you were a big part of why it was such a fantastic show. I could barely watch most of the Emmys because I cannot stand Jane Lynch, but your category was one of the few parts I didn’t fast forward through. I never would have thought that you would have won, not because you weren’t consistently incredible (you were), but because Friday Night Lights rarely got anything and I didn’t believe enough in the Emmys to trust that it’d start now. Also everyone seems to think that Jon Hamm is the second coming. Which he was in Bridesmaids, but not last season on Mad Men.

But none of that matters now because last night the world was told that you are the best. Thank you for being a part of a wonderful show and doing your job so well. Without Dillon, Texas, I am not sure I would have made it through my last term of college. Congratulations again, and I loved that as an added bonus, Minka Kelly got to present your award (though I’m a little bit upset with her about this Charlie’s Angels business). Enjoy the win and I hope whatever you do next is just as enjoyable and perfectly done as Friday Night Lights was.

Love, Amy

An(other) Open Letter To Jane Lynch

Dear Jane,

Get out of my way.

I do not care one bit that you are hosting the Emmys. If you stand in front of the milk at the King’s Road to go counter and refuse to move because you are too busy waiting for your coffee and composing the perfect ‘look at me I am so very famous and important’ face I am going to tattle on you to Johnny. Than maybe I can get some milk and go home to my bed and last night’s DVRed episode of Project Runway.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To The Emmys

Dear Emmys,

Last year, I wrote an article about who I thought should win the Emmys so let’s do that again:

  • Outstanding Drama Series (Boardwalk Empire/Dexter/Friday Night Lights/Game of Thrones/The Good Wife/Mad Men): I only saw a few episodes of Boardwalk Empire. They were somewhere in the middle and I had no idea what was going on. It didn’t seem terrible though. Dexter was ruined thanks to Julia Stiles. Game of Thrones and the Good Wife are mysteries to me and Mad Men ended all ridiculous with Don’s engagement. That leaves Friday Night Lights. I spent my final term of college watching FNL instead of going to class and good lord was it worth it. The fifth season was television perfection and if it doesn’t win, I might cry even more than I did at the series finale.
  • Outstanding Comedy Series (The Big Bang Theory/Glee/Modern Family/The Office/Parks and Recreation/30 Rock): I only care about two things in this category. 1. Glee wins NOTHINGITISSOTERRIBLEWHYDOPEOPLEWATCHIT. 2. Modern Family and Parks and Recreation share the win because choosing between them is what I imagine choosing a favorite child would be like.
  • Outstanding Actor in a Drama (Steve Buscemi/Kyle Chandler/Michael C. Hall/Jon Hamm/Hugh Laurie/Timothy Olyphant): Kyle Chandler. Duh.
  • Outstanding Actress in a Drama (Kathy Bates/Connie Britton/Mireille Enos/Mariska Hargitay/Julianna Margulies/Elisabeth Moss): Connie Britton. Also duh.
  • Outstanding Actor in a Comedy (Alec Baldwin/Steve Carell/Louie C.K./Johnny Galecki/Matt LeBlanc/Jim Parsons): LOUIE. Have you watched that show? Louie. Louie. Louie.
  • Outstanding Actress in a Comedy (Edie Falco/Tina Fey/Laura Linney/Melissa McCarthy/Martha Plimpton/Amy Poehler): “Hello everyone, I’m Leslie Monster.” Just give it to Amy Poehler she’s so great.
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama (Andre Braugher/Josh Charles/Alan Cumming/Peter Dinklage/Walton Goggins/John Slattery): The only one of these names I can place in a show is John Slattery and he is not my favorite of the Mad Men, so do what you want, Emmys.
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama (Christina Baranski/Michelle Forbes/Christina Hendricks/Kelly MacDonald/Margo Martindale/Archie Panjabi): I love Margo Martindale in everything I’ve seen her in so even though I only saw half an episode of Justified she should probably win.
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy (Ty Burrell/Chris Colfer/John Cryer/Jesse Tyler Ferguson/Ed O’Neill/Eric Stonestreet): If it can’t be Nick Offerman, then it has to be Eric Stonestreet. Though Ty Burrell still has my favorite Modern Family quote of all time: “Why do I have to see a French movie, I didn’t do anything wrong!”
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy (Julie Bowen/Jane Krakowski/Jane Lynch/Sofia Vergara/Betty White/Kristen Wiig): If you’re going to give Kristen Wiig an award, it should be for Bridesmaids not SNL. Julie Bowen must be rewarded for being still being able to carry on as a human, let alone a very funny one, after suffering through the role of Mrs. Dr. Jack Shepherd.
  • Outstanding Variety/Music/Comedy Series (The Colbert Report/Conan/The Daily Show/Late Night With Jimmy Fallon/Real Time With Bill Maher/SNL): I have never watched a clip of Fallon and though anything other than ‘wow, that was sort of amazing.’
  • Outstanding Reality Competition Program: (The Amazing Race/American Idol/Dancing With the Stars/Project Runway/So You Think You Can Dance/Top Chef): TOP CHEF. They make beautiful food and manage to do it without coming off as ridiculously staged and over produced like most other reality shows, cooking themed especially (Gordon Ramsay I am looking at you).
  • Outstanding Reality Program (Antiques Roadshow/Deadliest Catch/Hoarders/Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List/Mythbusters/Undercover Boss): Mythbusters. Why is anything else even nominated?
  • Outstanding Host – Reality Show/Reality Competition (Tom Bergeron/Cat Deeley/Phil Keoghan/Jeff Probst/Ryan Seacrest): I don’t like any of these people. Sorry.

I’m not going to say anything about the Miniseries business because the only one of those I saw was The Kennedys. I made it through two episodes and it was awful. As long as they don’t get any awards I’ll be happy.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Greg Kinnear

Dear Greg,

Look. Congrats on the Emmy nomination and everything and I don’t mean to ruin your moment, but there must have been some sort of mistake. The Kennedys was awful. All around awful. You were awful. Katie Holmes was awful. The guy who played JFK’s dad was awful. The music was awful (and not deserving of its Emmy nomination either). The directing was awful. The writing was awful. The lighting was awful. I got through two episodes and just couldn’t go on. I had planned to stick it out until Marilyn Monroe showed up, but the pain was too much.

In general, I am a fan of you but between this and The Last Song, I’m not sure how much more I can take. Here’s hoping for some better decisions on your part in the near future.

Love, Amy

P.S. I know this makes no logical sense whatsoever, but if you win I fully expect you to give your Emmy to Nick Offerman because if anyone in all of television deserves and Emmy for anything last year it is him.