Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: boys

An Open Letter To A Guy I Used To Kind Of Date

Dear Guy I Used To Kind Of Date,

Hey, really sorry about all the times I got upset with you for not texting me back. Now that I have an iPhone I understand. Half the time it doesn’t tell me when I get a text and they go unnoticed for hours. I really should have trusted you (at least about this). Though it may very well be the case that it doesn’t tell me about these texts because it knows I am busy playing Scramble With Friends (OBSESSED) and there is no time for texting!

Super sorry, hope you are loving life and that your iPhone has it all figured out.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Two Boys I Know

Dear You Two Boys,

I AM VINDICATED.

Finally a scientific study confirms what I’ve always told you. You can both read it and weep. I always knew I had a killer “pre-parking pose.”

You both must be SO embarrassed.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Ericka AKA Pedro

Dear Ericka AKA Pedro,

You’re the best, never change.

Love, Amy

P.S. Bonus mini open letter to King TJ 2.0: no boy has ever sent me one of those am I dating the wrong kind of boy or are all boys cheating on me all the time please answer quickly? Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Prince Harry

Dear Prince Harry,

OMG I hope I am not too late! You were here! In California! And I am conveniently single at the moment. Sounds like destiny to me!!! Have your people call me and give me about an hour to go shopping and I will meet you anywhere for our first date. Please don’t be gone already.

Love, Amy

P.S. Maybe don’t read the post directly below this. Though if you do, I promise that the vomiting has stopped.

An Open Letter To Tristan MacManus

Dear Tristan,

Well hello, lovely!

Be my boyfriend, please. I will be so nice to you and your handsome face. I also used to work at Television City, so I know my way around the set of Dancing With the Stars already! I even still have my parking sticker! I will meet you there every day and cheer you on while you dance. Just promise me that you will suggest that your partner, Nancy Grace, wears some outfits with more coverage and we will be good to go. This is true love. I can feel it.

Love, Amy

P.S. Tell Nancy’s daughter to stop picking her nose on television.