Dear Gentleman In Front Of Me On Wilshire,
We shared the road this morning for a few brief moments. It started when you zoomed right up behind me and threw your hands in the hair when I stopped for the red light at Beverly Glen. The nerve of me! You and your Subaru Forester had PLACES TO BE. You must have been late because the second the light turned green you took your life into your own hands and screeched those Subaru tires right around me, upsetting the neighbors in the other lane, and zipped right out in front of me.
Then, all of a sudden, you made perfect sense. You made a right turn on Glendon. That is the turn a person makes if he or she is trying to go get a pizza at 800 Degrees. Please accept this letter as a formal apology for keeping you from that pizza for even a moment. I’m not sure they’re open at 9:30 AM on Wednesdays, but even if they aren’t, that line gets long. It’s never too early to wait for the kind of pizza they are making in there. I hope it went well and that you made it safely and speedily to all your other destinations today.