Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: driving

An Open Letter To The Gentleman In Front Of Me On Wilshire

Dear Gentleman In Front Of Me On Wilshire,

We shared the road this morning for a few brief moments. It started when you zoomed right up behind me and threw your hands in the hair when I stopped for the red light at Beverly Glen. The nerve of me! You and your Subaru Forester had PLACES TO BE. You must have been late because the second the light turned green you took your life into your own hands and screeched those Subaru tires right around me, upsetting the neighbors in the other lane, and zipped right out in front of me.

Then, all of a sudden, you made perfect sense. You made a right turn on Glendon. That is the turn a person makes if he or she is trying to go get a pizza at 800 Degrees. Please accept this letter as a formal apology for keeping you from that pizza for even a moment. I’m not sure they’re open at 9:30 AM on Wednesdays, but even if they aren’t, that line gets long. It’s never too early to wait for the kind of pizza they are making in there. I hope it went well and that you made it safely and speedily to all your other destinations today.

Love, Amy

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An Open Letter To FJ Cruisers

Dear FJ Cruisers,

I drove one of you one time (hi, John) very briefly, though the moment was not so helpfully extended by the parking security folk at LA Live. Once we got everything sorted out and I got the vehicle where it needed to be, I had mixed feelings. My first car was a truck so I get the joy of being up high and feeling like you really own the road. But I have also never felt so small within a box of moving metal.

It’s this second kind of feeling that I hope everyone who drives you remembers when they try to join me and my Hyundai in our lane. Generally, you guys need a lot of space and people should really be planning accordingly. My brakes are getting tired of accommodating you.

Safe travels to us all.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Dunsmuir and Detroit Streets

Dear Dunsmuir and Detroit Streets,

Hey, so I’m the girl who drove down both of you the wrong way last night. I’m really sorry about all of that. I had driven like fifty city miles and another fifty something on the freeways earlier in the day and was just trying to get myself and a friend from All About the Bread back to his house for an evening television extravaganza (and homemade cookies, OR SO I THOUGHT UNTIL I FOUND OUT MY “FRIEND” HAD EATEN THEM ALL LIKE THE LITTLE JERK HE IS). I was in a post-meatball-sub state of mind and there was no parking anywhere. Please forgive me for my wrongdoings. It won’t happen again because the lack of cookies was the final straw and I’ve ended this friendship, leaving me no reason to ever come near you again.

Love, Amy

P.S. Not to damage your sense of self or anything, but who the hell puts one way streets in your part of town?

An Open Letter To This Lady

Dear Lady In Her Car Stopped At The Green Light On Orlando and 3rd,

Green means go.

Love, Amy

P.S. To make the car go, you push the pedals.

P.P.S. It’s fairly straightforward.

An Open Letter To Young Choi

Dear Young Choi,

Hi. It’s me, Amy. We met a few hours ago on 3rd and La Brea. You were driving that sweet Benz and I was driving my even sweeter white Hyundai. But now, we are both driving cars that have scratches from that white Camry. I’m sorry you were so scared and I am glad that I was able to stay and run interference between you and those Camry kids while we waited for your husband (and his rather large brother? Who was that guy with your man, anyway?) and the cops to come. And thank go they did come, right? Or the four of us would have been standing there bickering in the hot, hot sun all afternoon. You mentioned that it was your first car accident and I’m so sorry. I remember mine vividly and you are lucky that yours didn’t happen when you were 18 while you were trying to shut up your boyfriend at the time, who was making “funny” animal noises at you (they weren’t funny).

You’re going to be okay, I promise.

Love, Amy

P.S. Wasn’t it fun to see that kid get scolded by the cop about why he should always carry his license??

P.P.S. Your top was super cute, where can I get one just like it?