Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: friends

An Open Letter To God

Dear God,

Thank you for Gomez putting up the House of Blues concert as a free download. Thank you for Andrea for sending me the link and for taking me to the show back in October. I had somehow forgotten how amazing that night was and how great it was to spend it with Andrea during a, let’s call them “tricky,” couple weeks of my 2011.

Love, Amy


An Open Letter To Dunsmuir and Detroit Streets

Dear Dunsmuir and Detroit Streets,

Hey, so I’m the girl who drove down both of you the wrong way last night. I’m really sorry about all of that. I had driven like fifty city miles and another fifty something on the freeways earlier in the day and was just trying to get myself and a friend from All About the Bread back to his house for an evening television extravaganza (and homemade cookies, OR SO I THOUGHT UNTIL I FOUND OUT MY “FRIEND” HAD EATEN THEM ALL LIKE THE LITTLE JERK HE IS). I was in a post-meatball-sub state of mind and there was no parking anywhere. Please forgive me for my wrongdoings. It won’t happen again because the lack of cookies was the final straw and I’ve ended this friendship, leaving me no reason to ever come near you again.

Love, Amy

P.S. Not to damage your sense of self or anything, but who the hell puts one way streets in your part of town?

An Open Letter To This Person

Dear This Person,

You found Open Letters by searching for “what is the deal with newtons fruit thins chocolate raspberry can’t find them anywhere.” Anyone who is this serious about any kind of “cookie,” no matter how loosely that term is being used, is someone I need to be friends with. Call me.

Love, Amy

Sub Open Letter To This Other Person: you found Open Letters by searching for “andrew garfield good looking” so clearly we need to be friends as well.

An Open Letter To Bridger Winegar

Dear Bridger,

Thanks for meeting me for dinner at Plancha tonight. Double bonus thanks for driving me home. It’s a long block and a half walk riddled with creepy old men in the alley. It was so great to chat about how splendidly everything is going for both of us! Glad we’ve both reached a place in our lives where we have no complaints or difficulties. Let’s do it again soon, but instead of Plancha let’s have sandwiches.

Love, Amy

P.S. Kissing contest on Bachelor Pad tonight!! You better watch because I want to text the whole time!! Mike and Holly!! omg lol l8r

An Open Letter To Molly Callaway (and Peter Holmes)

Dearest Molly,

In September 1996 ER won an Emmy for Best Drama, Alanis Morissette’s first tour came to an end, and I met you. You had just moved to Hillsboro and we were in the same second grade class. Months later we were playing Barbies almost every weekend (you had the pink stretch limo and I was unbelievably jealous) and loaning each other Baby-Sitters Club books. We occasionally worked as an unstoppable writing team, our best work obviously being this:

I can’t remember how the “BIRDNEST MOVE” went, but if we were in charge I’m sure it went splendidly for about ten minutes and then devolved into something completely different including, but not limited to a song, dance, song and dance, art project, or fort building extravaganza in your bedroom/living room/dining room.

There were a few very dark years when we were not in the same class and didn’t spend quite as much time together. But then came sixth grade. We were reunited and as badass as ever. The addition of Becky made our duo a trio, resulting in stunning photos such as this one:

Left to right: Molly, Becky and Amy, in all our 12 year old glory.

Through middle and high school, the fun continued. Then I left for college. You came to visit, we ate Thai food when I came home on the occasional weekend and, most importantly, you were there for me during some rough times. We have been friends for 15 years now (which technically means we owe each other some crystal); I’ve known you longer than I’ve known my own sister.

Tomorrow you get married and it breaks my heart that I can’t be there. You have been and still are one of the most important people in my life and well over half of my best childhood memories were made with you. I know we are supposedly all grown up now, but I will never be able to forget where we came from: singing along to No Doubt and Britney Spears while making instant mashed potatoes with macadamia nuts underneath your parents’ dining room table.

As for you, Peter: I still haven’t met you but you seem like a fantastic gentleman and I know that Molly (and Steve and Joan for that matter) would never settle for anyone who was less than perfect as an addition to the family. I cannot wait to meet you, hopefully this summer, and to see you and Molly all settled in to your new life.