Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: NBC

An Open Letter To Bob Costas’ Glasses

Dear Bob Costas’ Glasses,

Did he break out you guys for tonight’s Olympics coverage because he has a stye? Because that’s why my glasses worked extra long hours last weekend. Looking ever so slightly Harry Potter-ish, but at least you aren’t THESE glasses, making their presence known a few nights ago:

It’s summer, Mary Carillo! Why the turtleneck?! (Totally loved your new kilt though!!!!! xoxoxoxox)

Love, Amy

P.S. Are you chanelling your inner Harry Potter-ness and trying to meet up with US diver Katie Bell for a quick Quidditch match? Please tell me you are.

An Open Letter To NBC

Dear NBC,

You are doing it wrong. What kinds of pills were you on when you decided “Yeah, let’s definitely bring back Grimm in August because the lead who we found on MTV’s Road Rules can totally act and this whole show is really solid and not boring at all but pull the last two ordered episodes of Best Friends Forever and air more of that Betty White show instead because people aren’t sick of her yet and Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair aren’t two of the funniest women on television right now which is saying a lot because shows purportedly about ‘ladies’ are super in right now.”

What kinds of pills?

Because these are the two dumbest things I have ever heard. I don’t care what the ratings or advertisers are telling you and I don’t care that you are running a business. In case you haven’t noticed, that isn’t something that has been going great for you lately.

But breaking everyone’s heart and denying them the pulled pork and delightful chemistry that BFF offers is very nearly true crime. You have murdered Wednesday night comedy, I hope you’re happy.

Love, Amy

P.S. Yeah, I signed this petition and then went back the next day to see if I was allowed to sign it again.

An Open Letter To Ms. Anjelica Huston Regarding Her Involvement In NBC’s ‘Smash:’ Another Perspective

Dear Anjelica Huston,

I know Megan O’Keefe already wrote to you, and while I agree with everything she said about you and your levels of awesome, I wanted to give you my opinion on your involvement with Smash.

First of all, one episode in, I am already obsessed. Do I think you are the real star of the show? OF COURSE. You are the real star of life, I’m almost certain. I hadn’t heard much about Smash until I was asked to do recaps for Picktainment. I did a quick Google Search,* saw your face (and chic bangs) and immediately got excited. However, I also love a ton of other things about Smash. The short list of mostly superficial reasons:

  • Julia and Frank’s apartment. That backsplash! The way the bookshelf behind the couch forms a little half wall between the kitchen and living room allowing it to serve as both cookbook storage and a place to set candy wrappers so that they would be out of my field of vision as I sat on said couch and watched all your movies in a row, but didn’t have to look at all the candy eating evidence (I’ll deal with it later, not in the middle of The Royal Tennebaums).
  • The music. Look. I used to have the Hello, Dolly! soundtrack on my iPod. I love a good showtune. And Smash has some good showtunes.
  • Katherine McPhee. This one I am embarrassed to admit. I don’t watch American Idol, so I really knew nothing about her and in my head she was the same person as Kelly Clarkson. But she’s kind of adorable.
  • The way music is used in each scene. There were at least three moments during the pilot where music was used as a punch line, separate from the actual musical numbers, which is fun.
  • Ellis. Based on the previews, he’s going to get catty with Debra Messing which I can’t wait to watch. AND he knows how to make both macaroni and cheese and meatloaf which is really all I’m looking for in an assistant/friend/roommate/lover/etc.
  • Raza Jaffrey. What a cutie.

I didn’t find Smash’s handling of body image a problem really. It seemed to me like Karen thinking ‘light’ meant ‘skinny’ was just a function of her being a struggling actress (I have been under the impression that that is something a lot of young models/actresses/famous people deal with, but I might be wrong) and naïve to the industry terms (turned out it was actually her resume that was ‘light’). I do, however, agree 100% with Meghan O’Keefe that you should seduce Jack Davenport or at the very least get the writers to give you some sexy fun with somebody. You deserve it.

You definitely need to demand to be more front and center in the cast. I really think you should be two levels higher in this pyramid of pawing cast members photo:Let Katherine McPhee sit up top and deal with all the interviews and press and annoying parts of being a television star, while you hold her up and delight everyone with your mystery.

So please stay on Smash. Give it that extra kick of awesome it will need to make up for every single ‘Julia and Frank adoption drama’ scene and keep smiling mysteriously. Like O’Keefe, I love this so much, and will be practicing my own version during every commercial break.

Love, Amy

(Sub Open Letter To Meghan O’Keefe: I looked at your Tumblr and ohmygodilovethosebirdearrings and that grilled cheese picture is out of this world. Also, you seem awesome.)

*Not an hour later I was driving to Ralph’s and noticed that there was a giant billboard for Smash not a block away from my house. So close that if I turn my head just right I can see it from my front stoop. I am not always paying attention to things.

An(other) Open Letter To NBC

Dear NBC,

I THOUGHT WE COVERED THIS:

Any joy I found in the fact that you also picked up Up All Night is negated. What in the world is wrong with you??????????

Love Hate, Amy

An Open Letter To NBC

Dear NBC,

So we’re in the second week of this Whitney business and all I have to say is thank you for giving me an extra half hour every Thursday night to read (or go to El Carmen and have margaritas, depending on how things happen to be going) instead of watching TV. This is the only way I can look at this situation and not cry about the fact that this garbage exists and 30 Rock is not airing. I got through exactly three minutes and thirty-five seconds of Whitney and was mad that I didn’t instead spend that time trying to make a left turn onto Fairfax out of the 3rd Street Whole Foods parking lot. Terrible. I laughed exactly zero times.

I know that Tina Fey had a baby so she is probably busy and that 30 Rock will come back soon. But GOOD GOD. Couldn’t you have replaced it with something funny? Or a full hour of Parks and Recreation every week? A half hour of that could even be reruns, I don’t care. I will watch that. Otherwise I’ll be reading Shopgirl by Steve Martin because no one told me how FANTASTIC that book is before now and I am in love. Sorry, Whitney. The waiter from The Muppet Movie wins at life again.

Good news for me, though: Happy Endings is back and Cheryl Hines is sort of awesome so far on Suburgatory. Those two developments, along with the continuing magic of Modern Family mean that Wednesdays on ABC are quickly becoming my new go to comedy night. Your move, guys.

Love, Amy