Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: sisters

An Open Letter To My iPhone

Dear iPhone,

I just had a brief moment of absolute panic when I remembered that once upon a time I didn’t have you in my life. I mean, without you, how am I supposed to have deep, meaningful text conversations like this one with my sister?

Thanks for all you do. XOXO.

Love, Amy


An Open Letter To Linda Wolf

Dear Ms. Wolf,

I bet you don’t remember me. I took your Advanced Biology class and Glencoe High School during the 2005-2006 school year. We went birding (I distinctly remember you yelling “Look! A snowy egret!!” from the bus). We raised chickens. We schlepped in the wetlands out behind the track. We went to the SWRP Summit at the University of Portland and made eloquent, engaging, scientifically accurate presentations ate cookies behind the poster hoping the judges wouldn’t see us while Brittany explained our research. It was loads of fun. It was also great that we had it first period, meaning that on those fateful pond schlepping days, we spent the rest of the day smelling like wetlands. Very sexy.

These are some badass birds.

Looking back now, it really was a fun class and we did a lot of interesting things that I exaggerated greatly on college applications and resumes. So thanks for that. You were definitely a little nuts at times, but I learned a lot. Now, my dear sweet baby sister is in your Honors Biology class and I certainly hope you are being nice to her. Walker is. Feel free to go ask him for tips if you need any. Maybe start by giving her an A on her essay, “Should We Save the Red Knot Bird?” which she was writing for you last night. Then perhaps you could assign more lab reports instead of essays, being that you are teaching Biology. I can honestly say that my science classes at Glencoe in no way prepared me to write actual lab reports in college. The only lab report writing skills I took with me to UO came from my seventh grade science teacher, Ms. Kottkey. Even Erin agrees with me and her degree was in engineering. You’ve got some work to do, lady.

Love, Amy

P.S. I was catching up on Hillsboro news the other day and found this. Seems like it would be right up your alley.

An Open Letter To Emily

Dear Emily,

Happy birthday, kid sister. When you were born, I was playing with Michelle and Ryan on their giant Rainbow Playground at the Carlton house. Then we drove to the hospital and I met you. You had a lot of hair. After a while, you grew up a little and got super adorable:

Being the baby, you got everything I ever wanted. The playhouse in the backyard, the play kitchen in your room. A loft bed. One of those rugs that doubled as a town for Hot Wheels to drive on.

Now you are super old and almost a real person. You still have lots of hair though, and since I know what present Mom got you, you can rest assured you are still getting everything I’ve ever wanted. I hope Samson is nice to you today and that Grammy made you all kinds of delicious treats. Wish I was there.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To My Baby Sister

Dear Emzlie,

YOU’RE COMING TO VISIT ME IN TWELVE DAYS. This is very exciting. Here is a list of a few of the things we can do just you and me while the dear, sweet, wonderful mother takes a nap:

  • Take Curious to the dog park
  • Find a good seat somewhere near the beach and quietly judge people
  • Probs do some serious Photoboothing
  • Cruise around in my sweet, newly repaired, Hyundai listening to the only TSwift song I’ll tolerate like old times
  • You can explain to me who all your Facebook friends are, Little Miss Popular
  • Try on cute dresses

And here is a list of a few of the things we can do with the mother (and her credit card):

  • Go to that Ferrari store in the Beverly Center
  • Go shopping everywhere else
  • Go to the Griffith Observatory (there’s a gift shop!!!!!!!)
  • Eat at Duke’s and pretend that we are in Hawaii again
  • Go to The Farm of Beverly Hills at the Grove and have Dustin be our server

Miss you kitten and can’t wait to see you (and Mommmms)

Love, Amy