Open Letters Love Amy

Because the Internet is easier than buying stamps and I will just lose your zip code anyway.

Tag: sports

An Open Letter To President Obama’s Bracket

Dear President Obama’s Bracket,

How are you doing? Do you have any upsets? I’m not going to pretend to know anything because of this conversation I had with myself yesterday:

“Oregon is a 3 seed? I thought Emily said they were on the bubble? What’s the bubble? Isn’t that when they might not get in? How could they be a 3 seed then… Oh that’s NIT.”

Clearly I am out of it, but the pres loves bball right? The real question I want answered is who filled in most of you? During the television broadcast of him making his picks, half of you was already filled in and there’s no way his handwriting changed that much overnight:Who is this person with the fancy handwriting and how do I steal her job (I’m assuming she’s female because I’ve never been able to read the handwriting of any guy I’ve ever known)? If Obama really wants to get America working, he can start by making me official presidential writer down of things that will appear on television. If he wants.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To My Randy Moss Jersey

Dear Randy Moss Jersey,

Are you still at my mom’s house? Apparently ol’ Randy has decided to come back to the NFL (I didn’t know he was gone?) so you might be worth some money on eBay. You are classic Minnesota Vikings, home purple, and probably vintage by now.

Write me back pls.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Sports Center

Dear Sports Center,

I guess I think that they’ll be besties forevs as long as they don’t ever have a crush on the same girl, LOL. Bravo on your hard-hitting sports coverage. This kind of stuff puts you right up there with Entertainment Tonight’s stories about how the cast members Friends were actually friends! Really riveting stuff.

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To Twitter

Dear Twitter,

Shooting 50% from the field it looks like:

I am VERY interested in half of these things. I’ll let you figure out which one. (Hint: there are single digit posts about sports on this blog but the other day I, in public, picked all the cheese off of the paper my breakfast sandwich was wrapped in and ate it.)

Love, Amy

An Open Letter To The Rose Garden

Dear Rose Garden,

Thank goodness for you because if the Blazers had to play every game on the road this season it would likely not be pretty. Please welcome my sweet Nicolas Batum home and help him make more than 0/5 three point shots. Here’s hoping for three wins in a row.

Love, Amy

P.S. Tell everyone inside you to be careful with the chalupas that seem to have become a regular occurrence thanks to the Blazers’ high scoring home games. Food poisoning happens at the hands of Taco Bell. The more you know.